Wouldn’t it be nice if real-life romance was like in the movies? The kind of films filled with moments where the man meets the woman for the first time, the lights dim, the music slows and everything seems perfect. There might be some back and forth drama, but you know it’ll work out in the end, and even if it doesn’t, at least the lovers went out with a passionate flourish.
However, romance in the modern world starts with dating, and rather than it be like a great work or art, it’s more like getting a job.
As much as that analogy sucks and is totally unromantic.
Take for example my buddy Donald and how he hunted downed his ideal job and met an amazing girl. The process of realizing both dreams were surprisingly similar.
1) Find Your Ideal Company
Donald decided that he wanted a career working in schools where he could inspire students to pursue their ambitions. His first task was to find the ideal place he would like to work. He had to figure out which schools appealed to him and why.
At the same time, Donald wanted a girlfriend, but he had to figure out what type of girl he was looking for. What qualities and values would she have? Did he want someone wild and fun or relaxed and domesticated? Different strokes for different folks, so it was important for him to figure out what he was after and where he could meet this type of girl.
2) Clean Up Your Résumé
Eyeing a respected private high school, Donald liked that school’s teaching philosophy, state-of-the-art facilities and well-paying employee salaries. He got to work revising his résumé and seeing what he should highlight about himself at a networking event. With a positive attitude, a well-fitted suit, he looked great and was ready to meet the right people.
After the event, Donald met up with his friend for a drink. At the bar, he saw two attractive brunettes enjoying themselves in conversation. In the same way he was prepped for that networking event, Donald walked toward them ready with a few interesting aspects of his character that would differentiate him from the crowd. He already looked sharp and with a smile, he introduced himself. His goal was not to show off, but instead to engage these women in a casual, conversational manner so they could learn about each other and see if there had any commonalities and, more importantly, chemistry.
3) The Interview
Things were looking good, Donald thought as he waited in a lobby at in anticipation of his first interview. He greeted the interviewer with a firm handshake and prepared himself for an hour of information sharing and conversation.
Is a first date like an interview? I lean toward yes. I think everyone has put on a positive front and gone in ready to share great stories about their lives. On the flip side, sometimes people are too shy on first dates and are unsure what to say, or even what not to stay.
As Donald sits across from his date that evening, he knows that it’s important to ask questions and be curious, but that there’s a fine line between sharing information about each other and an intense, police-like inquisition. He decides to find out the basics about the brunette in front of him, like where she comes from, what she does for a living and what she’s passionate about.
Donald follows up his first interview with a handwritten note, but he has a bad feeling that he tried too hard. He talked too much and didn’t ask enough questions. He feels under-qualified and not the ideal job candidate. A week goes by and he is informed that he did not get the job.
After that date, he knows that they had shared too much, too fast. Both of them were eager to impress the other and the conversation was too intense, lacking the ease one has with a good friend.
5) Many, Many More Interviews
Learning what he did wrong, Donald refines his pitch and is surprised that as he networks and goes to more interviews, the interview process becomes easier. He is more natural and less self-conscious. His nervousness begins to diminish as he confidently realizes that if one interview doesn’t work out, there will be more ahead.
In his dating life, Donald goes out more and more and discovers what works and what doesn’t on a date. He finds a dinner date is too static and costly, while a simple chat over tea or a drink is much more relaxing. The women he meets respond better to his more relaxed self and soon a first date turns into a second and a third.
6) You’re Hired
Finally, Donald’s hard work has paid off, as a prestigious school desires him as their new career counselor.
Excited, he hops into his car to meet a girl he has been seeing to catch a movie. The evening goes wonderfully and at the end, Donald asks her if she’s seeing other people. She doesn’t want too, and neither does he. They smile, and a relationships is formed.
Not many of us are lucky enough to get the dream girl and dream job at the same time like Donald, but you have to give him credit for working hard at obtaining what he wanted. Dating can be as challenging as finding a great job, but if you put in the hard work, romance is waiting for you at the end.
Written by Jason Burk