Thursday, December 22, 2011

Being a Man Means Being Decisive

Rihanna likes a man who makes decisions, read on below
If there is one really important concept that was drilled into my head after speaking with one of my close female friends, it's that women like men who are decisive.  Within the courtship ritual, the man leads and the woman follows, and in order to do this he must continually make decisions on where to go and what to do.

Have you ever watched a tango dance?  It perfectly demonstrates without words how a man leads with his posture, how he moves his feet and this allows the woman to listen and know how to follow.  They both communicate and when done well, the dance flows effortlessly.  (In particular, check out the 1:02 mark where the dancers rapidly move their legs with graceful and intertwined kicks.  These two are truly in sync.)

The man chases the woman, asks her out on a date and begins the courtship.  Within this courtship ritual, it's vitally important that the man takes the lead by arranging the dates and allow the woman the joy of going on a fun ride....because after all, isn't that what a good date is all about?  


Think of it from the woman's perspective, she can sit back, relax and know that a fun evening awaits her.  She's in charge of every other aspect of her life: her career, her taxes, her exercise regiment, her errands and so much more...but on one night for this date she can enjoy herself knowing everything is taken care of.

This is why men take women out to dinner.

This is why men pay for the fist date...making sure it's nothing extravagant but still a good time.

In my 26 years on this Earth, I've learned to take control and assume the role of the leader.  In a group, people often don't want to take this position because there is the responsibility that goes with it like: what if the place we're going to isn't fun?  What if the food isn't good?  

It's better to make a quick, informed decision and move forward then to wait and delay taking action.  

Back to my female friend, for New Years Eve, she had no idea what she was going to do.  All of her friends were looking at her to make a decision and it was exhausting.  She tried to please everyone, but everyone just wanted her to figure out the details of the night and they would go along for the ride.  

I know for a fact that when she's dating and meeting men, she's looking for a guy who takes charge and allows her the joy of relaxing, while knowing everything is taken care of.  Her date doesn't ask her, "soooo, where do you want to go tonight?"  Ask that question to a woman you're going to go out with and note her reaction.  It'll probably be one of confusion and a look of, "who exactly is in charge of this first date?  If I'm in charge of this night, is that how the rest of the relationship will play out?"  

Here's a quote by Rihanna that really confirms everything I've said.  One of the most beautiful and successful popstars around, Rihanna spoke about what she likes in a man in an interview with Glamour Magazine 

"I  absolutely do prefer a dominant guy. I play a very dominant role in my life, in every other aspect of it. And I like to feel like a lady still, at some point. I feel like that’s the time when a guy really gets to be a man, and I get to be a woman."

Basically, she's in control of every aspect of her life, but when it comes to romance she's still a woman who likes a man who leads and makes decisions.  This idea of being decisive plays a role in more than just romance.  Be quick to make decisions and it helps everyone in your life.  Here are a few simple little examples:


  • A friend of mine comes into town for a few days and wants to have a good time.  Rather than ask, "what do you want to do?  What food do you feel like eating?"  I setup a fun itinerary and he's more than happy to enjoy the ride.

  • One of my family members did not know what he wanted as a gift for the holidays.  We asked him for weeks and weeks and discussed how annoying it was that he put off making a decision.  Eventually we just had to pick a gift, as it was too late for him to maybe let us know what he actually wanted. 
And You know what's the best part of making a decision?  When you make a decision, your head is cleared.  You can now not worry about "where am I going to take her?" or "what am I doing next Friday?" but instead get it taken care of and move on.  

You should also note how decisiveness also plays a role in what happens in more intimate setting.  As Rihanna says,

" And if I’m being a man in the bedroom too, there’s nothing really in it for me."

If you don't think this is true, then go up and have an honest conversation with a female friend and leave a comment below on what they think.  Do they prefer when a mad leads?  When he plans the date?  







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